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[06 Dec 2004|01:42am] |
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I think I'm going to die soon, like, not to say that I`m going to kill myself, more to the fact that my body feels like it`s giving up. I cut tonight, like 70 cuts or something. I used to do them so shallow, scratching it, but now I just grab the razor and gash... I think people around me need to stop being arse clowns
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[06 Dec 2004|03:13pm] |
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I gave in. I can't believe it. I haven't cut for a while and I did yesterday. I cut because I cut, how messed up is that. I hate how I cut myself, so then I do it more. I just want it all to stop. I hate this so much. If I'm caught again my parents are going to send me to the hospital. They threatened to last time but somehow I talked my way out of it, this time they're sending me away for sure. I hate this...
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[06 Dec 2004|04:10pm] |
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mood |
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 in need |
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Ok my guidance coulnceller at school is driving me insane. She knows nothing about anything to do with cutting. I have to stop seeing her make her believe that everything is fine, when it's really not. Does anyone have any good ideas on how to do that??? Please help me...
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| new |
[06 Dec 2004|05:19pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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OK Well I'm new here. I joined because I just need people to talk to or rant about to. I guess I'll give a little bio about me so you can know some stuff about me. OK well I started cutting in 8th grade(I'm in 11th now). It started to get really bad last year. It was at the point where I was cutting like twice a day and It was taking over my life. I eventually told my youth director. He just told me I needed to stop. I never did. My friends started to notice and got worried. when this past summer started I talked to my youth director again. And he made me tell my parents. My parents made me go to a psychologist. I went twice then convinced my parents she was not working and I didn't want to cut anymore. That was a lie too. I still wanted to cut. I still do actually it used to be like once a month but lately its been more frequent. and I'm scared people are gonna find out about it again and I don't think I can deal with that. well thanks for reading this.
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| :Not strong enough: |
[06 Dec 2004|08:02pm] |
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mood |
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 realy depressest |
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Im breaking down! I can't take this, i'm not brave enough to go through this! Im acking, it seems that is all my life is on, pain. I just feel like crying but the tears won't come out! Im hot and bothered moody and everything i just feel like im falling apart. I've tryed too long, i've tryed to be strong, i want my Mummy back and i want everything back to normal i hate how my life is messed up! None of my friend understand! I need help, im going to make another appointment with my school consellor. Thanx for listening to the person who is acualy bothered and cared to read this, not surpriced if you're not.
p.s
im going on holiday on the 23rd to Disney - paris
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| um... oops? |
[06 Dec 2004|09:11pm] |
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arg. I couldn't do it. Today I caved. It's too hard...
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| Just a Question |
[06 Dec 2004|10:55pm] |
Is being numb better?
I used to think it was......but I'm not completely sure anymore.
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